first one

He is the first one.
The first to keep me up nights,
the first to wake up because he wants to talk,
the first to show me what unconditional love truly is....
he is my amazing son Lewis!


Being a new mom is such and altering experience.
It really does change you. I heard it a dozen times but really couldn't grasp it, why would it change you?-it shouldn't.  You pick up and go where you left off, you're in charge- right? no- there is a change, the good kind, the kind that puts life into perspective. Yet the amount of  attention that is required on a daily basis is enough to drive you insane!! At the same time, the very thing that drives you bananas also invigorates, and gives energy. Where we get the energy is beyond me. I think there is a survival button that goes on automatically. Really i do.  Oh and no one tells you how crazy your gonna  feel.... it's like the silent oath we mothers take, silent because really WHO talks about it!!!! YES it's all worth it , but for crying out loud  could some one have said something! anything! just a hint, like listen you might be out of it, no, no really your gonna LOSE IT!  Yeah you may feel a little crazy , a little out of  control, a little coo coo in the head.
It's  NORMAL we have our  hormones on spring break , private parts that have deformed and reformed and not to mention the enormous belly that  besides becomes jelly,  never really leaves you.... all worth it,  again YES, but i would have liked to know!!!! YES!!!!!
NO i wouldn't have changed my mind, but boy i would have been mentally prepared,!!!!!  Everyone says that  labor is the hard part, well it's a breeze compared to what comes next!
All I  wonder is why not prepare new moms.... just in case.

 In case you do wake up and feel your life is out of whack,
 just in case you realize wow i may not have the strength to do this,
 just in case you just can't stop crying!
postpartum they call it... bull - it's called new motherhood!!!!
 i don't know of a single new mom who didn't have it rough at the beginning.
 Does the baby wake up at all hours of the night,
 is the baby confusing day and night,  colic's, gas, eye infections, constipation, teething, fever, first cold, is the room too hot,  is it  too cold?????????? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!


There are different stages, all with their own challenges, but BABY steps will get you there .
Really  all you  need is to tackle one obstacle at a time. It's the only way.
I've learnt this now after 5 months, and my biggest accomplishment, to let go.  Not worry ahead of time, planning ahead is OK. but worrying is not productive at all.  I don't know why it took me so long to figure this one out , maybe it was the cloud i felt over my head that kept me from thinking clearly, or maybe it's really the beer I've been drinking for milk production ( more on this in my next post on breastfeeding) it probably has me so relaxed i only deal with whats necessary, and worry much less!
 
 Lately walking around in my baby filled neighborhood I've noticed that there is a silent understanding with mothers, the simple smile we give each other while passing each other by has an underlying meaning;
we love, give, and do unconditionally, as only a mother can!
I've decided to share all I've learned, researched, collected, asked,  and cried about.
things that maybe, may be useful to a new mom searching for answers, or maybe just wondering if she's normal or will ever be again.


-L&L